You finally do !

Congratulation gurlll. You now know what you want and have the guts to do it. Keep going to do whatever make you happy. Because att the end, you are the only one that could do.

It's not easy, at all. We live in a place where our business is their business. Everybody thought that they could control everyone else. But no. You got the power over your own body and you could do anything, from using niqab to get pierced in your tongue.

That what freedom is.

And what freedom feels.

It's a previlege.

I'm proud of you. Because not everyone could do what they want. I want to do it- like you do. But, if it's me, i think tias is to important to lose, and i don't want to do something he might hate. But i'm still considering tho, what is the most important? My happiness, or his feelings?

Actually, it also applied with you and your parent relationship i think. You and them are now disagree with something, but the problem is, it's your own body, which is yours. Maybe- you really should talk to them, one more time. To have a deal. You (both) need to tolerate - that i know you will because you dont want to see them hurt, and they either.

Be happy sap.

My friend said that we only have one youth.

Make it count and worth living.

He said,

"you look thicker"

-Yes I know, I am, and I'm not proud of it. 

"And you look skinnier," I said.

"It's a compliment tho."

"I like thick girls"

Dari sekian banyak orang yang gue temui, temen temen yang ada di sekitar gue, baru kali ini gue bener bener ada denger dari mulut seorang laki-laki bahwa beneran ada laki-laki yang suka cewe thick.

Finally gue mendengar bahwa being fat is not always bad.

And someone love it!

Terlepas dari dia jujur atau ngga, tapi it makes me feel good. I feel better about myself. 

(But he looks sincere)

(and i want to believe that he mean it)

So ya, a simple thing that could make my day.

I always hate my body and shape. And I don't get comfortable in my daily "tertutup" outfit.

I still want to be skinnier tho,

But I just wanted to be happy.

And you're not helping me, Bo. I hate to feel bad of being not as beautiful as you wish.

I love using those shortpants even if I have a thick things.

I am proud of my breast, I don't happy to always has to use those loose shirt.

I love my curly hairs, the way it is. Stop calling me botak, cause I'm not.

I love to get tanned, I don't care if any other girl just want to have fairer skin.

Or I loved,

I used to.

I wish you one day will really accept me as who I am.

No matter what size I am, Bo.

I Found My God in the Chruch

God will hear

No matter where we pray

Never thought that I will miss my god the most when i hear them praying in the chruch..

Not saying that i'm believe in jesus

Nor that they're wrong

But

They pray with all their heart

They sing so loud

To worship their god

It's beautiful

And touching

But i can't

Believe in their believe

I missed my god

My own god

I am ashamed

I never pray to the god,

To my god

I want to feel the bless

Like they did

I want to feel god in my heart

Like they did

Allah,

I can find you there

Deep in my heart

No matter where i pray

You are who im praying to

And i have faith in

Led me

Once more

And a thousand times more

Look at you now

Well, listen girl

Now you see

Things are fine

You're alright

Everything is alright

You been trough that ugly phase

And now,

Focus on what you're doing now

Chase it

Take it

Grab it

Because you deserve so much more

If they can't deal with you,

They don't deserve you

You are great

Don't let other people tell you otherwise

You

Are

Just

Perfect