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Self reminder - btw ini nulisnya awal desember

Jadi orang itu harus mau berjuang. Mau tua mau muda ya berjuang. Dengan tarafnya masing masing. Aku kuliah ya berjuang biar bjsa lulus cepet lalu kerja biar ga jadi beban orang tua. Nanti setelah lulus atau kalau sudah nikah ya berjuangnya beda lagi.

Masih alhamdulillah orang tua berkecukupan. Saya ga pernah susah sampai ga makan. Tapi namanya uang pasti ada aja kurangnya. Bisa makan tapi masih bisanya makan warteg ga bisa makan di sushi tei pake duit sendiri. Tapi alhamdulillah kalo sama orang tua masih bisa dibayarin makan enak. Duit jajan sebulan sekian juta. Ya berarti duit kita segitu. Gaji orang tua puluhan juta ya punya dia. Asal aku dikasih makan sama uang kuliah ya orang tua ga harus ngasih apa apa lagi. Tapi alhamdulillah orang tuaku baik masih ngasih fasilitas ini itu.

Tapi aku bukan ngga berjuang. Aku bukan anak yang kerjanya foya foya ga mau kuliah kok. Aku tau duit orangtuaku ada batasnya. Aku bukan anak bill gates yang duitnya ga abis abis. Aku punya temen yang hidupnya susah, sampe ga makan kalo duitnya abis. Punya juga banyak duit sampe bisa dugem terus dan makan di restaurant pake duit jajan sendiri. Aku mau dugem. Tapi dugem itu mahal. Satu malem aja bisa abis minimal 300 ribu. Minimal loh itu. Temenku yang kaya mungkin abis 3 jutaan.

Oia berjuang. Jadi aku juga berjuang, biar bisa mendapat kehidupan yang lebih baik dari orang tuaku. 

Tapi perjuangan paling susah itu kayaknya ya jadi orang dewasa yang juga punya anak. Susah kayaknya. Walopun duitnya banyak tapi pengel

i am about to get married in less than 2 years now. 2017 is almost over and im planned to married on march 2019. its only 16 month. and i have a lot in my mind, mostly thinking about my baby kenken. somehow, at this age all i can think about is how to be a great person so i can give kenken a good life.

i never scared of being broke or homeless, i dont care even if i have to live in a junkyard. but i MUST work hard so my baby kenken dont need to live that way. i want kenken to be safe, to live in a safe neighborhood and have a good neighbor too. i want kenken to go to international school. i want to give kenken all the toy he want. i want to teach him all the language in the world, so he can grow bigger, grow better, and explore the world.

lately, im thinking about, do my future-husband deserve to be the father to my baby ken? i know he is, afterall, a pretty good partner. but will he be a good father? because most man don't. will he work his best, as hard as i work, to give kenken all the live kenken deserve? will my fiancee can be a father that i always wanted?

i know some people might think that it's not a good think to write some bad things of my own family on internet. but again. its my blog and i have right to write EVERYTHING i want as long as i dont harm anyone. ayah pernah marah sih karena aisyah curhat sama temen aisyah tentang masalah keluarga, apalagi ini cerita di blog.

maaf ya ayah... but i got this on my mind, and i always love to write it on my blog, so one day, i can re-read.

i really worried that my future husband cant be a hero for my baby ken. no matter ow strong i will be, no matter even if i put fake mustache and use man cloth, but i cant EVER replace kenken's dad role. aiisyah beneran khawatir gitu loh.

ah tadinya mau nulis panjang. but well, i was inspired to write it because i have stalked dedy corbuzier for almost 4 hour, just to admire how close he is with his son, and that he willing to do everything for his son.

tapi aisyah harus jemput ibu.  bye bye