Dear My Lovely Boboboi

Halo bibo. Ini cuma chat panjang biasa tengah malem sekalian colongan curhat. Tapi sengaja biar bisa dibaca seluruh dunia dan one day, kalo aku lagi berantem sama kamu aku bisa scrolling scrolling blog aku terus nemu ini. HAHA. Tapi aku malu deng kalo ini semua dibaca orang kalo blognya suka aku publish. 

Thankyou, sudah selalu sabar sama aku. Atau mungkin tepatnya bukan sabar, toh kamu juga sering marah balik. SERING. Tapi ya gapapa namanya hubungan jangka panjang ga mungkin enak terus. Yang enak terus itu saladnya pizza hut <3 Iya, kamu emang kadang barah, but you stick around and never leave me (translate: kamu sama aku terus). DUH AKU MAU NULIS PAKE BAHASA INGGRIS :(((( i know i can be hard to love, most of the time, and im so grateful that you can deal with that. All those unstable emotion, hurtful yet meaningless words, etc etc. I am grateful that you never leave (once again), because if i were you, i would have left on the day one.

And, on our 2nd year anniversary, i found out that as we grow up, being in a relationship cant be that easy. As i getting older and older, i am no longer finding someone who will bring me bucket of rose every month or buy me fancy stuff (but it could feel nice tho). Im now finding my lifetime partner. Who wont leave. And makes me happy lot of the time. Because how can i stuck with a person who cant be my friend and cant make me happy?  And for sure, support me and makes me a better person.

Anywaaayyy, we should talk about my plan to get a master degree in 2020 and your plan to have a baby in the same year. Realllyyyyyyyyyy. We have to find a win-win solution. I really really want to study abroad, since i was in junior high school. Its like one of my biggest dream, and losing it can breake my heart, and make me unhappy, and blaming you on my failure, and have a lifetime-regret. Yes, the dream is that big. But IF your plan to have a baby is bigger than that, maybe (just maybe), i could give it up. But you have to know that it breaks my heart already to think that you wont let me study abroad. And later, me as a wife cant do anything without your permission. So please, consider it thousand times. Its our life, so we have to agree on what are we gonna do, together, as a family.

You should also know, that i also want to have that baby, Kenawa. I even already planned his/her name. But well, he/she will grow up, and i want to give Kenawa a good life, in a good neighborhood, go to a good school, so Kenawa can be the best version of himself/ herself. Im too scard imagining we cant afford a good school or a good milk. I just want us to be prepared, with our education and good salary. But mom told me that im worrying Kenawa to much. But everyday i saw kids talk dirty, smoking, coming home late, and other bad things, because of their neighborhood. I really want to avoid that. For god's sake, i will groud Kenawa for 6 month if he dare to touch ciggarets. I hate growing up as a passive-smoker, and im going to make sure that Kenawa wont experience that.

Kamu harus inget bahwa semua yang aku lakuin saat ini, belajar sampe malem, ikut organisasi ini itu, coba rajin dikampus, insyaallah buat kamu dan Kenawa nanti. Supaya aku bisa jadi istri dan ibu yang hebat, yang bisa kalian banggain. Dan yang penting, biar bisa kerja cari duit yang banyak buat bantu kamu nyekolahin Kenawa di tk yang pake bahasa inggris biar dia cas cis cus. Hahah. Plis ingetin aku nanti jangan kebanyakan kasih Kenawa makan bubur bayi instan sumpah itu kandungannya belom tentu 100% organik. Ingetin aku muat masak sendiri.

Back to you..

Kamu berubah 3 tahun ini.

1.     Jadi makin gendut

2.     Jadi gondrong

3.     Jadi suka belanja

4.     Jadi ga pernah nelfon jam 8 malem

5.     Jadi suka marah sama aku balik

6.     Dan lain lain.

Tapi aku juga berubah

1.     Jadi baik hati

2.     Jadi solehah

3.     Jadi makin semok

4.     Jadi rajin menabung buat jalan jalan

5.     Jadi udah ga sering titip absen

6.     Jadi suka soda

Jadi gapapa. Aku seneng kamu berubah. Disamping itu semua, aku seneng kamu gendut karena kamu jadi keliatan ada yang ngurusin. Dulu kurus kaya kaga diaksih makan. Kamu marah juga walopun aku sebel tapi sebenernya aku seneng haha. Kalo kamu ga marah nanti aku bandel ga ada yang ngingetin. Jangan bosen marah sama aku. Dan kamu sekarang jauh jauh jauh jauh JAUH BANGET lebih baik dalam mengekspresikan perasaan, bukan cuma perasaan sayang, tapi juga sedih marah dan kecewa. Bangga aku sama kamu. Dulu, dulu, mana tau aku kalo kamu sayang. Cueknya keterlaluan. Banget. Benci aku. Gapapa paling ngga sekarang kamu jawab love you. Dulu kalo aku bilang "love you", jawabannya "iya sayang" buset pengen banget aku tampol.

Dan one of the best thing about you, is, you willing to learn. You changed become a better boyfriend, and partner, and lover, and listener, and bodyguard, and morning alarm. So I have faith in our future life. Yalah. Gila. Sayang aku sama kamu walopun kamu suka galak dan suka bete sendiri dan suka marah marah kaya nenek nenek pms.

Dah ah aku ngantuk.

N.B. tias ini, kalo punya anak namanya Kenawa, mau dipanggilnya Ken biar kaya anak bule. Padahal nama panjangnya Kenawanto Nugraha. Mending dipanggil Wanto kan, lebih merakyat.