03/12

It's march already. It means that i have waste 2 full month and achieve (almost nothing).

Kinda forget have I told you yet, but im so sure that I am not going to keep doing... some stuff. Its not because I dont want to. The opportunity cost is too high. Its still haarddd. Cause I thought it could be my place and I belong there. Whoa, unfortunately, the fact is, I cant. I am not that 'idealist'. I am not willing to sacrifice my own future for some organization, or anything else. How could I? I even wont let my marriege stop my dream to chase law school abroad.

Cant imagine how can someone let go his/her life for some organization. Or maybe.. its his/her believe. Cause if you believe in something, you will do aything for it. Just like me, believing that I should give the best to my child, and rise them well. Or like me, believe that woman can do an can be everything. I'll be happy for them then. I wish that they could get what they want to achieve. They can learn, and do something for that organization.

Sometimes I feels like maybe I made a wrong choice. But the other time, I feels like I do the right things. I do this not just for myself, but also for my darling, my parents, and my future. No its not easy. But life is a choice. And yes I have to made my decission. 

(But I havent moved on yet)

(Oh JK, I have)

Maybe a few person wondering, what do I do now, as I have lot of free time.

1) Study. Study a lot. On this point on semester, I regret that I ever said that law school is easy. No its not. Maybe its not too hard to past the semester, but I want more. I want to undertand what I read. I want to do my best. My GPA is less than 3.5, and I need 3.5 to get a master schoolarship. So yes, I studied until 11 pm everynight.

2) Joining one or two intra-campus organization. I signed up for Student Executive Board, and Im rejected. Then I signed up for Student Council in my faculty. I make it. And now Im trying to do the right things. Or.. Im not really sure is it the right things. 

3) Planning my marriage.. and... engagement. Yay. Im going to engaged next month. So happy because now its one step closer to my marriage. Never thought that I would married so young. 

4) Paying for my car. Still do my best to earn money. On progress.

5) Preparing my master, and try to make a second plan. I planned to get Air and Space Law master degree in Leiden University (Netherland), or McGill University (Canada), or Queensland University (Australia). Orr, if I cant make it, planned to take Maritime Defence. Whoa Its a big things for me. Dont know if I can really do that, but I have to try it, right? Havent think what will I take if I have to take my master here, in Indonesia.

So yes, I can find plenty things to do.

I hope that this month I can achieve something, so I aint just wasting my time.

Cheers xoxo